Help me with my miserablelife..I need counseling?

The 1st 6 years of my life is just wonderful. I'm already 21 but I still have those wonderful memories as a 3 year old. I feel loved by my parents,my siblings and during those times I hear the neighbors saying I'm a cute child and that I'll be handsome once I grew up. On those 6 years I have lots of friends and playmates. everyone is nice to me. I learned to read at age 3, So I heared praises that I'll be a gifted child. Then things changed when my family moved to a new city. The people there are very different and rude. Kids are making fun of me and I've been bullied. All of my struggle started when I was 7. I have no friends at school and I was being a center of joke. My self esteem is more crumbled because my Brother always bully me when I'm home. Because he is jelous that he is not the youngest child. But I'm not spoiled because my mom make my life a miserable hell. She always nag at me night and day and say mean words. I have a brother named Gerald, he died 8 years before my birth and my mom always say if Gerald didnt die, I dont have to exist in this world and i'm sort of a cheap replacement. There are so many reasons why I was being picked on at school. I'm from a middle cl family and because I'm studying in a public school, Most of my clmates are from families below poverty line. Because of that they bully me because they think I'm a rich kid. There where kids acting like they where my friends but they just do that so they can eat the lunch prepared for me. I started to realize that I'm different from other kids because they think I'm weird and crazy. I have mannerisms typical kids dont do. I'm very hyperactive that there had been times I was being punished by the teachers. One teacher hits my head with a broom until it breaks into two. I'm also outcasted because I'm not Catholic and my Country, is a Catholic country. Unlike America The kid/teen who gets respect and popularity in school are the ones with the highest grades and I have terrible grades in math, I was always humiliated because of that. I tried to study hard but I think I have some learning disorder because until now I cant solve a simple arithmetic and I cant read the clock unless it's digital. My childhood is very terrible and I felt like I'm I'm a living a misery. At fifth Grade I discovered 3 pions of mine. Music, Martial arts and writting. My pion for music died because my mom dont want me to learn instruments but I still love singing. Then my pion for martial arts is not prospering because of money matters. At fifth grade there were people who said I have a great potential at writing so I pursue it. I'm writing poems, stories and songs. It fills my spirit and I love the people's reaction towards my works but my family dont give a damn. When i was on 5th Grade my life was a bit better because I have friends and my performance in school is good. But I'm back to hell at 6th Grade because I'm surrounded by kids smarter than me and they had treated me like a trash. My life is a bigger heck in highschool.I was turned into a fat insecure kid and I was always humiliated by the teachers.I've been discriminated at school because I'm not catholic and makes me more insecure. I was outcasted and I felt like the hedgehog who is never been hugged. My Highschool life is rouger when I became a Junior because Science became Mathematical and that is my weakness. I get to have 2 girlfriends during Highschool. My 1st one is ashamed that I'm her boyfriend while the other one makes me more insecure because she is an outcast like me. When I graduated Highschool, My Parents didnt support me for college. I tried taking up a computer vocational course because I found computers fun but it was a torture because Mathematical equations are back. I failed that course and it put me through more depresion. I got a scholarship to a course that i dont like and it's caregiving. I graduated recently but that course makes me feel more insecure because it's never been my dream to wash the s of elderly people. I get back to my 1st love which is writing. I posted some of my works in fictionpress.com. My poems get positive reviews but I lose motivation from finishing novels because all I have is negative reviews and it kills me. I always get this review: "Your plot and story is nice but your grammar sucked."